


Devotion

by yuletide_archivist



Category: Boondock Saints (Movies)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-12-25
Updated: 2007-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-25 07:37:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1639268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuletide_archivist/pseuds/yuletide_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Story by Dien</p><p>Musings from a brother on his desire for that which he can't have.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Devotion

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Sean McCarthy

 

 

_this is how we pray_

No church this, just another hotel room, dump really, bed and not much else, a carpet the color of vomit and the sun slanting through the curtains catching on the dusty air but it shines on my brother and paints him saintly

and I'm kneeling before him barely thinking about it, his hands folding over mine, ours folding together and we start to say the Hail Mary

and I speak the words while watching his pulse beating under the Virgin, the black-ink madonna on his neck

and I want it.

_Hail Mary, full of grace..._

I say it with him and while I'm kneeling before him what I'm thinking what I'm thinking is this

Our fingers tangling and it's not prayerful  
Me kneeling and it's not prayerful  
My hands at his waist on the hem of these jeans and there's nothing prayerful about that  
His jeans sliding down and me  
Bowing my head  
To a worship I could never confess to  


_The Lord is with thee_

I'd make it good for him, I swear  
Tongue and lips and easy hot right, it's not like  
Either of us could ever have  
Anyone else. What we have  
Is each other, is endless nights in rooms  
Just like this one, no more  
Going home to the same place to sleep  
No more going down to the bar  
No more sleeping in  
No chance at anything like a nice girl, a phone number  


Because we're sanctified. Do you know  
What that means? Set apart.  


And we only have each other and I only have him and I swear  
He'd never have cause to regret it  
If I were to greet my brother with a kiss  
Less than holy  


_Holy Mary, mother of God_

Sometimes at night we reach out one for the other and he  
Clings like we did as children waking  
From the same nightmare  
But there's no waking from this  
And these days when we touch I don't  
Want to stop  


_Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death._

I've killed seventy-four men  
And that's not what I'm going to go  
To hell for.  


(--amen) 

 


End file.
